Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I Salute The Brave Woman

.

This incident happened to a family, known to me very closely.

The family consisted of husband, wife, a son and a daughter.  The husband ran a printing press, which was quite famous in their area if the city.  His wife started helping him in the press,  after the children grew up and went to higher classes.  The whole family was admired by everyone.  

Their family was a sort of joint middle class family...the husband was the eldest in the family and had many (five or six!) brothers and his father allotted separate flats to all the sons in his building.  He had lost his mother when he was very young and his father was living with him. He was the trustee in a nearby famous temple, was the correspondent in a  school.  Quite a well known person in their area and a respected one too.  His son was waiting for his Plus II results and the daughter had completed 8th std., when this incident happened, some 10 years back.

1st May was their Wedding Anniversary.  The whole family, alongwith his brother's son, his wife's brother and his wife, had visited Mookaambika temple on that day. They had lunch at the temple and came to Shringeri Sharada temple(Karnataka).  It was around 2 pm.  The temple is situated on the banks of the Tungabadhra river.  Normally, the gate from the temple to the river bank, is kept open for the visitors to take bath, till around 11 - 12 am. Then the gate is closed.   The husband insisted on taking bath in the river at that time itself. Everyone went to the other side of the river bank, crossing a bridge.  The husband entered the water and started wading through the water, for some distance.  All the other members of the family were watching.  Suddenly, he was caught in a 'whirlpool' and started rolling into the centre of the whirlpool.  The son noticed this and suddenly ran into the water calling his father, to catch hold of him.  His brother's son also ran behind him.   Within minutes, all the three of them were not visible at all...and the whole area was deserted at that time.   Some help came later on and after searching for 4-5 hours, the three bodies were found.  The family's life was changed within such a short span of time.

We had visited that temple and if we go through the gate via the temple, we can see a board near the whirlpool area, saying that the 'area is dangerous'.    People are asked to take bath just near the steps.  We had done that, just 2 years earlier.   He was a very religious man who was loved and respected by one and all.   His wife lost her husband and her only son, in front of her. His brother also lost one son.  The brother did the kriyas for all the three of them.  

The wife was just around 40 years old at the time of the accident.  She took some time, naturally, to come out of the shock.  But, then slowly, she started taking care of the press. Because of the goodwill they had, the orders poured in and now she is one of the leading person in that field. Her daughter is doing her MBA now.   She has changed from a timid girl to a tough business woman.   She knows to carry herself and without much help from others, she is doing very well. Whenever I meet her, my admiration for her goes up.  Her son's classmates meet her often and help her in their own way.

I wonder why this should happen to her.  Both husband and wife were religious.  The son was going to Veda classes and played mridangam.   The day his body came home, his Plus II results came and he had got reasonably good marks.  He had so many dreams and the parents were adoring him.   

Thank god, the girl is studying well now and her mother is very happy about it.  I feel that women are not that timid as our age old myth says, but when time comes, they become hard as rocks.   Hats off to this lady!


26 comments :

R. Ramesh said...

god.very touching incident..feel sad..life is full of challenges sandhya...all we can do is to let events unfurl in our lives i think

Varunavi said...

My mom says women are stronger then men,women can live without husband but men will never be able to live his life alone without wife and children.

I salute to all the brave women including my mom who single handedley brought three of us.

Sometimes i feel people who are religous passes off very fast then the non-religous people,this is just what i have seen in my relatives.

Sandhya said...

Ramesh: Nothing is in our hands. We have to try to live, true to our conscience.

Varunavi: Yes, Saritha. Your mother should be a strong woman to bring up not one but three daughters, married them off and still happily taking care of the grand children too. Hats off to her, too.

My husband also thinks that praying should be sincere. He does not believe in poojas, going to crowded temples etc.

manju said...

Very touching story, Sandhya...

I, too, believe that if the need arises, women can be very strong. We have the examples of Rani of Jhansi, Rajmata Jijabai, etc. in our history.

The lady you have written about must have great courage to carry on the business successfully after her husband's untimely demise.

Shail said...

A very sad affair. But tragedy brings the strength within us to the fore.
It always makes me wonder why it is assumed that if a person is religious nothing will happen to him. Whether we are religious or not, what has to happen will. Isn't that so?? Besides since we know nothing about death or what comes after. we assume it is sad. Sadness is actually more for those left behind by untimely death of the near and dear. For those who have died, do we really kno?? They may be in a better state or may be there is nothing at all... Sorry for my little piece of 'personal' philosophy! Just thought out loud. :)

SG said...

Very sad story. My heart goes for that family. Why these things are happening to good people and good family. Sometimes, very rarely, i tend to think if there is a God really exists.

Sandhya said...

Manju: Yes, she is great. You know how it is, for a single woman to go out and handle things, in our society. Many of her relatives were complaining that she was NOT taking help from them! She gave importance to them, where it is needed and silently went on with her work. She does not let others interfere in her business. I admire her for this quality because I have got this habit of thinking about others' opinion than mine!

Shail: It is the normal thinking that if we do poojas and follow our religious rituals, everything will be fine in our life. This family is a perfect example but this lady does 48 days' 'vilakku poojai' (lamp pooja) etc. even now...

What you said is correct. The people who are left behind, are the sufferers. I feel like writing more in this subject too, Shail!

SG: So many people in their area, still talk about him and miss him. The lady has got a lot of respect, because of him and as an individual too. That is not easy to get, SG.

kavita said...

SANDHYA...I don't know why the update didn't show up earlier.Good-morning,today we have LAXMI-PUJA out here,gotta do my morning puja,breakfast for all etc...i will be back after all this,just stopped to say namaste...see you in few hours.

Sandhya said...

kavita: Good morning, Kavita! Take your time.

Is today any festival for you or are you doing a special Lakshmi Pooja?

Renu said...

sandhya I have always seen that the children brought up with difficulties always rise higher in life, may be God gives them extra strength.

kavita said...

Sandhya...what a sad thing to happen to these wonderful people you've mentioned.Very often we hear people act in a different way which leads them to the door of death...his insistence of taking bath that day was one such thing...destiny ,may be.I salute this lady for coming out of this sad situation very courageously and intelligently..my regards to her strength and thanks to you for writing such wonderful post...very inspirational for all the women.

SANDHYA..the purnima after Dushera is always celebrated as Laxmi puja here...a big day .On the day of Diwali Kali-puja is observed here.Tomorrow we plant a new sapling of Tulsi and lite a diya every evening for a month(karthik month).if you got time visit here for a glimpse..kavita-myguwahati.blogspot.com.(this post is specially for you,i will post in in an hour,got the idea from you)

kanagu said...

Very much inspiring..

hats off to her :)

wordsndreamz said...

This is so inspiring! She is indeed a very very brave and enterprising woman. She managed to make a life for herself and her daughter, despite being hit by such a horrible tragedy! I guess, misfortune can bring the best or the worst within us. This lady must be an inspiration for so many around her!

' I feel that women are not that timid as our age old myth says, but when time comes, they become hard as rocks. ' - Absolutely! I think women are far stronger than what is perceived about them. The so called weaker sex is far stronger when it comes to mental strength - is what I feel.

wordsndreamz said...

Thanks so much for sharing this Sandhya!

Sandhya said...

Renu: Yes, Renu, we have got examples in our own family.

Kavita: Everybody was saying that it was destiny. I meet this lady, often in functions. I and my husband always admire her.

I will come to your blog to read about the Lakshmi pooja, Kavita!

Kanagu: Yes, she is an inspiring woman!

Sandhya said...

wordsndreamz: She doesn't 'look' like a successful business woman at all. Looks very ordinary but when she talks, we can notice her self confidence, Smitha.

'Weaker sex'? Weak men have created this word. Women mostly adjust a lot, to keep the family's peace - in most of the houses. When they have to take responsibility to take care of the family alone, they beat men who are in the same situation. As you said, it is just 'mental strength', which women have more than men.

mesoliloquy said...

That is so touching!

I have seen many women who were dependent actually showed a rare brave side of their's when need arose. Women can be really strong if she wants to be. I also think women have more mental strength.

Sandhya, The post again never got updated on my reader. :( That is why I am late here. Apologies!

Sandhya said...

Solilo: Check my 'blogs I follow'! Your 26th Sept. post is on top! No need to apologize, Solilo! If I am busy, I am late, many times!

This lady is not very much educated also! The only plus point is, she was helping in some way at the press, for some years. Her husband was in charge, till he was there. She got the will power/mental strength to carryon. The workers were loyal too. Others would have been dependent on others or gone into depression.

destinationinfinity said...

I second Renu's comment... kids grown up in difficult situations grow up better and more responsible... The rich kids are spoilt to core... I am not sure if being religious is better or not - some of the rituals are designed for our own good - if we reject all religious rituals, we never know what we might be missing. And Science has become the new religion for all the people!!

Destination Infinity

Deeps said...

that was so touching,Sandhya. Hats off to all those women who learn to take all hardships in their stride and emerge even stronger!

Thank you for sharing this incident with us,Sandhya.

Sandhya said...

Destination Infinity: I agree with you and Renu, Destination Infinity! Rich kids do not have any aim in life..everything comes in a platter. This is the reason why, young rich kids turn into drug addicts, commit crimes, etc.

Being religious, is a sort of discipline. Conscience/fear of god, controls us from doing wrong things. This is a sort of confidence builder too, I feel.

sharu said...

Hi mami,
nice to read your blog after so many days!!! sorry. I completely agree with varunavi's mom that women are more stronger than men. But what I feel is when you are put into a situation you will defenitely get enough strength to come out of it. you may call it divine power or your own power. But somehow one will overcome it which we wouldn't have thought on a normal situations. Means everyone has the strength and potential which we are not aware or not bothered until we are forced to do.

Sandhya said...

Sharada: You are right, Sharada. We don't know our own strength, in normal circumstances. It comes out, when need arises.

radha said...

Such a touching story. Sometimes circumstances force a person to shed their meekness and face life with courage as in the case of this brave lady. It would have been easy to have wallowed in self pity and in the process ruin her daughter's life. Hats off to her.

indianhomemaker said...

Very touching story Sandhya!! This should be held as am example to those who do not realise that must be self reliant.

I know of a very nice couple who lost their 26 year old son. The father has now memory problems and many health problems caused by the shock ...he has lost the will to live.

The mother despite her terrible grief, now takes care of her husband. They have another son, and she says she wants to find peace in her grand children. She is the stronger one here.

Sandhya said...

Radha: She surprised all of us by her self-reliant behaviour. No one expected her to come out of the shock like a phoenix. I was there when all the three bodies came home. Even now, I feel uneasiness, when I think about it. God is with her, shall we say? Or is it called 'will power'?


IHM: Yes, IHM! Women are not the weaker sex. It is the opposite, I feel. Thank god, she has taken over. If she was weak, the whole house would have collapsed.

In every house, mostly, if the father sits at home, without taking responsibility, the mother takes over and runs the family very well. If the lady of the house is not a responsible person and take care or is not able to do it, the home is ruined.

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