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We attended a wedding of our friend's daughter, last Sunday. It was an inter-caste marriage. Both the bride and bridegroom are very well educated and decided to have an Arya Samaaj wedding. I have heard about it but had not witnessed the wedding till now. I had a notion that this type of wedding will not have any ritual, just exchange garlands, sign in the register and the wedding will be over. But I was in for a surprise and a happy one.
Normally, our Tamilian wedding has got so many rituals and everyone becomes so tired after the wedding - the bride and groom, parents and other close relatives, will have so much work that no one feels relaxed and happy, for quite sometime. Some rituals, like oonjal (swing), the bride and groom exchanging garlands, etc. are fun to watch. Otherwise, it is so long that the children (bride and groom) feel very sleepy, after the 'mangalya dhaaran' ritual. As soon as this maangalya dharan is over, people throw the flowers and rice on the children and run for lunch. But the ritual for the children continue. No other person will have the patience to sit with them. They will be all alone with the Purohit, in front of the hot 'havan kund', sweating, in Chennai weather!
So, I loved this short but perfect wedding ritual of 'one hour', very much. The person who conducted the wedding, was a member of the Arya Samaaj. He is a Hindi Professor, in a college. The rituals were very simple, but everything was done, according to the Vedas. He recited every mantra, slowly, splitting every word, according to the meaning and asked both the bride and bridegroom to repeat, together. He translated the meaning into Tamil and I think everyone liked it.
He said that during the Veda period, 'maangalya dhaaran' ritual was not there. We are doing it only for the past 2000 years. So 'maangalya dhaaran' was done as the concluding ritual. Let me explain, not in full detail, but like, just a glimpse of the rituals.
For the ritual of 'Kanyaadaan', the Bride, Groom and the bride's parents, kept their palms one upon another and the mantras were repeated by all the four.
Next came 'Pratigya Mantra', which is a a ritual solemnizing the marriage. The husband makes six marital vows holding his wife's hands. These vows make the marriage strong and sacred.
The Arya Samaj wedding ceremony is performed with the fire and other elements as the witnesses since they don't believe in idol worshipping. So, The couple take four rounds of the fire one for each four ashrams in the vedic age.
Then comes, Saptapadhi. The ends of the bride's sari and the groom's shawl are tied together. The saptapadikriya or seven steps taken by the couple signify their seven needs: nourishment, strength, wealth obtained through honest means, good health, progeny, good luck and a loving relationship. In this, the groom was keeping his hands on the shoulder of the bride and they took the step together.
We have this ritual in our wedding also - shilarohan. The groom lifts the foot of his bride and keeps it on the grinding stone (small one, which we call ammikkal). Here, the brother of the bride places her foot on a stone, while the groom recites mantras. He prays that their marriage be as firm and steady as the rock on which he has placed his sister's foot.
Maangalya dhaaran: The golden maangalyam which was in a yellow thread was placed in a plate with coconut and flowers and taken around for blessings of the elders first. Then the Purohit asked the groom to hold it in his two hands in front of the bride and repeat the mantras. The three knots were tied, one by the groom and the rest by his sister.
Normally, everyone showers coloured rice (akshat) or flowers on the couple, congratulate them and their parents and leave for the dining hall, immediately, after maangalya dhaaran. Here, we were asked to hold the flowers in our hands, repeat the 'ashirwaad' mantra together and then bless the newly weds with the flowers and rice. The whole hall was vibrating with the sound of the ashirwaad mantra. This was the best part, which should be included in our rituals too.
I noticed one more thing - normally, only the men are asked to pour ghee in the havan. Here, the bride and the groom did it together and the mothers (boy's and girl's) were asked to put hand pound red rice, into the havan kund, for every mantra.
In the end, the newly weds fed each other with laddus, signed their names as man and wife in the Arya Samaaj register.
They will live happily ever after!
We liked this wedding very much. What are your views please?
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